Old Sympathy cards

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What a great time to finally do some long-procrastinated tasks! For years I have meant to go through a box of sympathy cards that I received when Shirley died in 1998. I read them when I got them, of course, and had replied to many of them that had notes (and had written "reply sent," with a date, on the envelope), and at some point I had alphabetized them (by first letter of last name of sender) and had put them in a shoebox, not able to throw them out. And thus they have sat on a shelf for over 20 years! There are well over 100 cards altogether - maybe close to 200.  

I called John and asked if he was interested in them. I also wondered if maybe Katie would be interested - they would give her a fuller perspective on her grandmother. John said he was not particularly interested in generic cards, but he would be interested in those that said something specific about his mom. So I have gone through them all and selected about 30 which I think John would be interested in. And very possibly Katie also. I will make a packet of them for John and he can pass it on to Katie.

In the process of doing this, I realized I was creating sort of a case study in  "the art of sending a sympathy card."  What constitutes a "good" sympathy card, and what words are really meaningful, and have stood the test of time?  I would say that in general, the more time and care that goes into a card, the better. I find I am appreciating home-made cards, and cards that were inherently beautiful. I have now saved a couple of dozen card covers that I can use to make a new card by gluing the cover on to card stock and writing a personal note inside. Cards that are generic both in art and in expressions of sympathy (e.g., "Shirley was a wonderful person and she will be missed") are appreciated, but not memorable. In general, I would say that taking the time to make a card special, both visually, and in its message (a specific memory, a remembered trait, etc.) is to the good. 

Here are some examples:

This is what I consider a "generic" card. It is like hundreds of others. Over 80% of the cards I received fell into this category. Sometimes a very personal note, penned inside, redeemed the card. But in most cases, the  note was generic too. I don't want to give the impression that I didn't appreciate being remembered. Sending a generic card usually is better than nothing. But I think it is worth taking the time to make it a bit special.

 Here are some examples of what I liked visually:

This card was designed by a friend in the Guilford church. I like the simplicity of it.

I've always like stained glass

I like this floral scene

I am always attracted to close-ups of flowers, which I find to be amazing in their beauty

This could be a scene right on our own land

An artist friend created this water-color cover

I like the joy in this one

This was a hand-made card from a young woman in her twenties at the time of Shirley's death who had been a pre-teen in the church. I liked the way the word "voice" on the cover is then echoed in her note.

This was from someone who had been on an organ study tour in Europe with Shirley and me the previous summer, so we did not know her well, but she took the time to carefully print this note in a tiny, careful hand.

And here is the exception that proves the rule:

This card and note was very touching and authentic in its stark simplicity