Remembering my brother

My brother, Stewart, died ten years ago today. Ellen and I were in St. Paul, MN when we got the news that he had fallen and was on life support. He had experienced cardiac arrest and it had been quite a while before EMT's started his heart again. So his brain had been oxygen-starved too long. We had just been with him several days, and knew he was very fragile, but this news was a shock nonetheless. We immediately turned around and came back to Elgin. The family were all gathered at his bedside and we joined them there. We sang for him. He seemed very peaceful, as though he were just asleep and could wake up any moment. But the doctor made clear that he would never regain consciousness. His heart was beating, but his brain was dead. So as a group we reluctantly decided to have him taken off life support. That was hard, but we knew it was right. I don't remember how long he breathed on his own, but not long. He slipped away, surrounded by love and many tears. Stewart was a wonderful brother. I loved being with him, and although most of my life - after he went into the army at age 17 in 1944 and I was 11 years old - we did not live very close geographically, we were close emotionally, talked on the phone a lot, wrote letters, and managed to make trips to be together fairly often. That was true over a period of almost 70 years! I still miss Stewart. There are still many times I want to talk with him, ask him something only he would know, tell him something only he would understand. I love you, brother!

Stewart and me in our parents' home in Onawa, Iowa, in 1952. *****************LATER: Monday evening, Ellen and I listened to recordings I made back in 2007 of me talking to Stewart about his life, so we got to hear his voice. We also watched a video of his memorial service at First Congregational Church, Elgin, March 23, 2013. That was very nice to see again. His barbershop chorus sang two numbers, and his grandson, Damon, paid tribute to his grandfather "living his philosophy."