A new era.

This past week or so has been different physically. Last Monday I woke up and was suddenly extremely weak and could hardly move. I was unable to get to the bathroom, or get out to my recliner chair in the livingroom. Fortunately we had an easy fix for the toilet issue - a port-a-potty that can be placed right next to the bed. Similarly, I can brush my teeth and use the water pic with a pan sitting on the edge of the bed. Eventually I was able to get out to my chair. But even though I'm better now, it feels like a new phase of the illness - more terminal. My PCP wants to test for a UTI, but we are also going to apply for Hospice care. The main change is that it makes "going out" sort of problematic. So I've mostly been home. I've had a lot of visitors and calls and texts, expressing support. My granddaughter, Katie, is here right now - she flew out from St. Louis last Thursday. I've had two "small choir" visits from Guilford Church - that has been wonderful. And it has also cracked me open more - I've been talking a lot more about dying with Ellen, John and others. I've also been sleeping more during the day. All this has affected my sense of time - especially of free time. and that has had an effect on this blog. So here we are! I have no idea what the future holds, especially whether I'll be alive. That makes living very interesting. Every day is a gift, for sure. Here are some photos - I'll organize and label them later.

This year's rhododendron crop - some winter-kill is evident when you compare this photo with last year.

Dummerston Center cemetery has been un-mowed all spring leaving a profusion of wild flowers which enhance but also almost hide Betsey and Shirley's grave flowers.

A new development! We've moved the TV downstairs to the livingroom so I don't have to use stairs to watch TV.

Katie Shay, visitng for a few days and thus here when a small choir came from the Guilford Church.

Filling In.

In addition to reading aloud from Ernest Gaines' A Lesson Before Dying, several things have happened since we visited The Clark Institute: (1) I was supposed to lead the Dummmerston choir in Here I Am, Lord on May 18th, but didn't feel up for it and passed it on to Mary Westbrook. I listened later to the service on Facebook, and the choir sounded great. (2) I observed the 27th anniversary of Shirley's death on May 24th by listening to one of her 1997 GCC services (from the GCC archive available on the GCC homepage). (3) The Morris Dancers held their annual Memorial Day weekend Ale, with several groups at the GCC pavilion after church on May 25th. (4) Peter Falion, Helen Merena and Andy Davis came on Wednesdays to be with me while Ellen took some time off (typically to meet someone for lunch - like her sister Katie). Fred Breunig is coming today. (5) We had the last session of our retired Clergy group this spring on May 29th; we'll reconvene in the fall. (6) A small Group from rhe Guilford Choir came and sang hymns for me at home, later in the afternoon on May 29th. (7) Plus, Ellen has created a lovely deck garden, despite a lot of cold, rainy weather. And last Monday, we had an unexplained power outage - a short one, fortunately - which caught us by surprise (i.e., no bad weather).

Above: Morris Dancers at GCC Pavilion.

Group that came to sing for me: Nan, Fred, Ginny, Cathy, Helen, Rachel and Carole. Plus Ellen.

Green Mountain Power Truck, checking out our power outage.

Deck Garden.*********************************** Oh yes, and one more thing: We've made a big change in the livingroom. With John's help, we moved the TV from the upstairs bedroom down to the end of the couch in the livingroom. This means I don't have to go upstairs to watch TV, and in particular, it means if I have to use the bathroom during a TV program, I don't have to come downstairs and then go back up again. John got a long coaxial cable to extend the antenna cable from upstairs down to the LR, and since a long cable weakens the signal from the antenna, he found a signal booster which he added to the system. He also has gotten an additional cable which links my iPhone to the TV, so now we can watch a program or movie on the phone and display it on the TV. This has been great! We most recently watched The Autobiography of Jane Pittman, which is on YouTube, and very much worth a look if you are interested.

The TV in its new location.

I'm okay.

I know that when I don't put up something on my blog for quite a while, some might wonder if I'm okay, so this is just assurance that I am. I'm not sure why I have neglected this blog for so long. I think one reason is that we have been aggressively pursuing a practice of reading aloud, and I don't work on my blog while Ellen reads to me. And then other things come along when she is not reading. So I guess you can say life is full. Most recently, Ellen has been reading from Ernest J. Gaines' 1993 novel A Lesson Before Dying. This is a powerful work. Set in Lousiana, at the novel's center is Jefferson, a young black man sentenced to death for three unintended murders which take place during a robbery which Jefferson was involved in, but he was not in any way responsible for the murders. He had the bad luck to be the one left standing, alive. His court-appointed defense attorney, speaking in court, compares his impending execution to the slaughter of a "hog," in a misguided effort to elicit sympathy for his client from the court. Jefferson seems to buy into this characterization and refuses to talk with his family - he is, he says, "nothing but a hog." Grant Wiggins, a local black teacher, is recruited by Jefferson's family to help him face his death "like a man." This sets up an excruciatingly painful relationship between the two men, but one in which they both grow emotionally over time. The novel received several awards and was made into a movie for TV. Gaines died November 5, 2019, age 86.

Ernest J. Gaines (1933-2019). ************************** Looking for the movie based on this novel on YouTube, I ran across another movie based on a Gaines novel, The Autobiography of Jane Pittman, starring Cecily Tyson. and we watched that movie yesterday. That is also a powerful work! Gaines should be far better-known than he is. I am grateful to have discovered him and his work.